flash from the past

I have this very good friend ah maybe I should say this person who I considered a very good friend but I was hurt because I felt that she didn't trust me. Maybe I still feel bad whenever I remember what happened. I just don't know how to describe this feeling, I've forgiven her but remembering what happened before still gives a pang of pain. It's like I forgive but I can't forget. Ah is that possible? I don't like myself for being like that but I can't be hypocrite and pretend that everything is ok and everything is back to what it's used to be because deep inside I know that things will never be the same again.
And I hate having this pride... or maybe this is not just merely a pride(am i trying to justify what I feel?)
I still miss my friend, Heidi but I'm still hurt whenever I remember what happened when she didn't trust me. I did feel like I wasn't her friend, did feel betray of. Now I'm torn between keeping in touch with her or not. I know she's been trying to reach out but then I'm keeping my distance. I don't know but a part of me feels that everything has changed and the friendship that we once had was just a distant memory. Stupid me. :(